This article applies mostly to situations involving women you do not know, or at the most, know as an acquaintance. A situation where you are trying to get a girl to like you that you already know well is much more complicated, but I will cover it some time.
If you were hoping for an article describing how to get a specific girl to like you that currently does not like you, then I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm describing a more realistic situation. If you were hoping for this article to cover that, then you should read my other article "Relationship How To: Why you should NOT go for that girl". In a nutshell, you're wasting your time by pursuing the girl that has no interest in you.
Alright! Let's get to the topic.
So, you're at work (or school, or wherever it may be) and you see that one (or two) girls walk by every day, and every day you think to yourself how you would like to get her. We've all been there. First tip: Stop looking at just that one woman. The world has a great deal to offer, and you seal your eyes shut when you fixate on a select few people. What advice I have to offer will really only be applicable if you are not the type to fixate on a single woman; if you are the type to find many different women attractive. Answer this question "Do you see a new attractive woman at least once a week?" if you answered yes, then you should definitely read on. If you answered no, then you're likely way too picky, or fixating on a specific woman right now and my advice won't help you.
If you're reading on, then I'm guessing that you see attractive girls here and there, and you're receptive to my advice. Great! Here's the bad news...
I would love to be able to say that there is a sure-fire way to get someone to like you. Unfortunately, relationships aren't so simple. People all over the world are trying to figure out the formula, but with limited success. What I want to inform you of are those few things that we know for SURE that will affect your success rate with the opposite sex. These things are largely based on psychological research that I've read.
Let me begin with how you should look at the whole process of getting a girl. You should look at it as a process that has clearly defined steps. These steps are so basic that it's very hard to change their order.
I will break up the process of into the following steps:
1) Establishing contact 2) 1st impression: Visual a. Dress and grooming b. How you carry yourself 3) 2nd impression: Interpersonal a. How you carry yourself i. Relaxed look ii. How you talk 1. How you talk 2. What you talk about 3. Who and what is the focus of the conversation 4) Ending the contact a. Hope of future interaction
You can think of the above as a flow-chart. It explains the aspects of establishing a successful cross-gender relationship. The chart is fairly self-explanatory, but it's important to break it down into small steps. Why is breaking it down into small steps? Because unless we look at every little detail, we cannot tell what we are doing wrong. So, the more detailed our analysis of our behavior is, the more likely we are to find the culprit, if there is one. This chart is nothing but an organizational guide. Throughout the articles that I will present to you, we will look at nit-picky details of our male behavior, and the expectations that most women have of us. As you read them, you should look at yourself and see where you need to improve.
According to this chart, a relationship begins with eye contact. That's pretty obvious, right? First you two have to notice each other. Well, a lot goes into this step. The way you see each other is vital. Then comes the approach, which is feared more than death itself by most men. The approach leads into an interpersonal interaction; also feared more than death itself. This is when you are talking. A great deal goes into this part as well. How you speak and what you say matters (though according to research, HOW you speak matters over 50% more than WHAT you say... We'll get into that in the 3rd or 4th article). Then, finally, now that you have survived the conversation without fainting, you establish a HOPE for a future interaction.
The next article will cover what you must do to maximize your visual impression. Without making a good visual impression, the girl will not be as interested and receptive to you. Your first visual impression has to be your best.
